I'm old...SWAG

     When I started this blog (yesterday), I figured it would go the way of most blogs- and, let's face it, all of my recent relationships.

You know.  Frequent, excited chats for the first  few days, then the inevitable dwindling into a few choice words  every couple of weeks, accompanied by apologetic 7th-grade excuses ("Sorry, Journal, I've been reallllly busy"), and finally, the an annual message or two, with a random musing and maybe a photo, just to soften the blow.

You never call me anymore.

EXCEPT that I can't talk, and am a secretary with nothing to do, so you get me every day that I'm bored at work.. (for at least a month).

Suckaaas!

Okay...so here's a thought:

What does "swag" actually mean?  I mean, I know that it means showing off your shit, right?  And there's that Weezy song...but I hear it all the time in Brooklyn. For everything. Even when it doesn't mean anything about your personal appearance.

Ex:

Boy: "Oh, snap, I just got 3 missed calls from her, swag."

or

Girl 1: "Yeah, then I cussed that teacher out!"

Girl 2: "Swaagg."

or

Man On Street This Morning: "White girl, running through the hood!  SWAG!"

Is there a huge pop culture reference/ phrase I'm missing here? Does "swag" mean, you know, "cool" or "da bomb" (heyy 90s babies) or "the bees knees"  for kids these days?

Had to run and check urbandictionary.com.  (My reference for all the things I'm too old/ whitebread to know about)

And so, My Source of Internet Cool tells me it means:

1. swag:      apperance ,style ,or the way he or she presents them selves.            ex: He got a killa swag.   Mmm  Kay.  Right.  Spelling and syntax errors aside, that's what I thought.  But what about all the other stuff I keep hearing?  Like that dude who called me out while jogging on my workout this morning? Ohhh here we go:      2. SWAG:      A stupid saying that's overused. People (90 per cent are dumb teenagers, 10 per cent are little ass kids trying to be cool) use it for EVERYTHING and also as their facebook name thinking that shit's cute:     ex: 'I just opened a cabinet, SWAG.' 'I just fell down, lol, SWAG.' 'SWAGNIFICENT' '(your name) idontgiveafuq gotsswagg' 'lives in swagtown' 'works at swagville'** 'That show was so SWAG.' 'I just finished brushing my teeth, SWAG.' 'Hey guys, just woke up, SWAG.'  **Sidebar: Where is Swagville? ....I want to work at Swagville. I think I like the one the best where the person gives themselves big ups/ swag just for waking up in the morning. SWAG! I do that too! Anyway, this post is about nothing, really, except the fact that I love funny words, and you know, I'm not a kid anymore. So, not only am I not up on the crazy new-ish slang, I'm also doing grown up things like applying for food stamps, individual health insurance, and budgeting my money. SWAG! Haha it's addictive!  I'm gonna say it all the time now!! Swaggy swagswagswag. Annnd now I see why definition # 4 on urbandictionary is: 4. SWAG:     S- Something     W - We     A - All     G- Get tired of hearing   ex:  Teacher: What is the square root of 69?         Dude: SWAG!         Teacher: SHUT THE F*** UP! Hahahaha.   That's all for now, I think.  Going to see "The Avengers" tonight with a sexy Palestinian actor that I met in the Hamptons (while working on the set of Royal Pains). SWAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!